Iongrafico

It’s amazing how we fool ourselves… while at the same time believing we are doing what’s best.

Let me give you an example. I overheard a guy telling a group of friends, over drinks, how he had become fed-up with work. Guys being guys, they immediately started to come up with options to fix the problem – ideas like changing company and changing jobs. That was when the guy got all logical…

‘Yeah, but I need to pay the mortgage and my kid’s education and we’ve got a holiday planned for the Bahamas and…’

I interrupted. ‘How much do you need?’

‘A hundred grand a year,’ he replied.

‘What’s more important,’ I asked, ‘your happiness or the money?’

Of course he said happiness. Then he got all logical again. ‘But I can’t be happy unless I can pay the mortgage and give my kids the best and have great holidays.’

‘How many hours do you work?’

‘Around fifty.’

‘And how do you feel when you get home?’

‘Tired.’

‘What would your kids prefer, a father who is worn out for forty eight weeks of the year but has four weeks to entertain them per year or a dad who is a real Dad all year round?’

The conversation went on, me questioning, him justifying what he perceived as logic.

Yet it’s not logic, is it? It’s not logic to deny your heart’s desire to change life when it’s hurting you. The mortgage, the kid’s education, the holidays are just stuff. And, like most people find after a heart attack or a divorce or an accident, is that this ‘stuff’ is not that important. What’s important is something else…

Life!

The problem is we got “Conditioned Logic” – “logic” transferred to us by society: friends, family, schools, college, the media, religion etc. We took it all on and felt we had to behave in a “conditioned” way. The repetition of that conditioning is fine for a while, but when we end up doing something we don’t love, each time we do it takes a little of the soul away. Let me put it another way.

What gives you the power to succeed is what you perceive to be logic. Real power is not necessarily doing what society dictates. Real power is often something else. It is that knowing that comes from nowhere to tell you, you must do something different.

It might seem logical to have the house, the car, the private education, the holiday, but is it powerful. What is powerful is, to say I am not happy and things must change; I’m not killing myself for forty-eight weeks just for four weeks of pleasure; I’m not excited by my work and I’m willing to live in a smaller home if it means I can have more peace, less stress and fall back in love with my partner.

It’s not all about the stuff, is it? It’s about happiness and love; happiness and love of your partner; happiness and love of your children and family; happiness and love of your work. If you have that then you have it all.

Now that’s the power to succeed!

Does your current way of living support that?

Two heads are better than one, so sit down with your spouse and plan out your financial future together.
Prioritize your bills.

By determining which bills to pay in which order, you’ll get in the habit of making sure your essentials are always paid first.

Be careful using credit. Sometimes a financial crisis will come not because of a layoff, but because you’re overextended. Most people can afford to devote 10 percent of their net income (after taxes) to installment debt, not including mortgage or rent payments. If you pay out more than 15 percent, you need to cut back.

Establish an emergency fund. Open a savings account and start “paying yourself” 10 percent of each paycheck.

What happens if we run into an emergency and our emergency fund isn’t enough?

Don’t panic. When facing a financial crisis, stay calm. This will help you think logically and you’ll avoid unnecessary arguments with your spouse.

Quit spending money. When faced with a financial challenge, it’s easy to use your credit cards. But you may run up your balance to the credit limit and not be able to afford the payments, which will result in a poor credit rating—something you won’t want during a crisis time.

Prioritize your bills. Pay essential, or survival, bills first: food, mortgage or rent, utilities. Next, pay car insurance, medical needs, child support, and any loans such as automobiles and furniture that are secured as collateral.

Then pay the nonessential bills—those debts in which no immediate consequences occur if paid late: credit and charge cards, attorney, medical, and accounting bills, newspaper and magazine subscriptions, life insurance, childcare, gyms, or clothing.

Communicate with your creditors. If you can’t pay your bills or can only pay a partial amount, your creditors may be able to help you to establish a repayment plan.

Some lenders will allow you to defer one payment a year, meaning the payment for that particular month doesn’t have to be made. The deferred payment is added to the end of the contract.

Take notes of any conversations with creditors, listing the date and person with whom you spoke. Whatever arrangement you make, get it in writing from the creditor before you send in money.

Know your rights. Many collection agencies are in violation of the Fair Debt Collection Practices Act. To get a copy of this legislation, visit www.ftc.gov. If you feel you’ve been violated, file a complaint with the Federal Trade Commission at their website.

Find outside help. Many churches and Para church organizations run programs to help you navigate through financial troubles.

A debt management company may also be able to help you reduce your payments, lower your interest rates, and pay off your debt faster than trying to do it yourself.

Such companies can also negotiate with your creditors to bring your accounts current if they’re past due.
Avoid bankruptcy. Bankruptcies should be your last resort. A bankruptcy can remain on your credit report for up to 10 years.

Do you realize that it is no longer impossible to do two or more things at the same time and with relatively “equal” attention? You eat and talk at the same time, don’t you? And you can wash dishes or shower while listening to the radio. Some can even talk on the phone, work on the computer and watch a video all at the same time. These acts economize on time and thus constitute an economy of acts. But these multiple and simultaneous tasks require a steady mind that pieces the attention evenly so that it is nearly equally distributed. It requires a skillful synchronization of the mind, hand and the senses. You may not be aware of it, but you hvae been doing many of these multiple an simultaneous acts and performing an economy of acts, without knowing it, haven’t you? Even in class, you are really doing more than a single act at any given time, you listen, write and sometimes also talk. Some do even more

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But the advice is that you do not venture into this marvel too often and not when one of the acts or tasks calls for undiluted attention and concentration. But with ordinary, non-serious acts o tasks, try first doing simple ones simultaneously without danger or neglect to any. Master the multi tasks, then gradually introduce or neglect to any. Master the multi-task, then gradually introduce a fourth but simple one. What happens is that you are able to shift your attention from one task to another so fast that it will seem like you are attending to more than one at any given time. Strengthen the coordination between your mind and body so that  with frequent practice, the coordination is learned by both mind and body performed almost automatically or without need for attention.